


Living Like A Ghost

by Dante_Quintana



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Character Death, Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, How Do I Tag, I just wanted to put it in, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lance likes the bad words, M/M, Poor Keith, So much angst, Suicide Attempt, but anyways, but then the things happen, cause im following the shows example, i'd say i was sorry but that would be a lie, idk how to tag, idk that has nothing to do with the story, keith is a sad baby, klance, o yeah, or allura, or hunk, or shiro, they dont know eachother at first, they take their time, torture keith, well i mean who would torture hunk, why do i always torture keith, why never lance, why not pidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 09:28:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11643702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dante_Quintana/pseuds/Dante_Quintana
Summary: With that thought, Keith stood again. He still shook violently, the wind that had started up didn't help any. His hair blowing around his face. He began to step towards the edge, if the fall didn't kill him, and he didn't drown, he'd surely die of hypothermia. In the water in this cold, there was no chance he'd live. He was a few steps from the edge when he heard noise behind him, then a voice "DUDE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GET AWAY FROM THERE!" Keith turned like a deer in the headlights.





	Living Like A Ghost

Keith could taste the salt in the air, hear the waves of the ocean crashing against the base of the cliff. He'd always loved the ocean, the water, he thought it fitting he die in the ocean. At least he'd go somewhere he loved, one of the few places he felt safe. He couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on his face, thinking back to the time's his family had gone to the beach, before his parents and older sister had died in that god forsaken car crash.

 

_"Mommy, daddy!" Keith called, his face grinning. It was his 8th birthday and they'd gone to the beach for the day. "Come look at the sand castle Emmi and I made!" he  said the words excitedly, grabbing one hand of each parent and dragging them in the direction of the sand castle he had built with his 15 year old sister. They'd spent hours on it and he thought all the work was worth it, it was so pretty!_

 

Keith let out a breathy laugh, almost a sob with the tears. He didn't know when they started, they just added to the salty taste he got from the air. He tried to remember why they'd been in the car that afternoon anyway, why his sister was home from college. Right, he remembered now. He'd been 14, it was his last day of school before Christmas break, and his sister had arrived that day. His parents had come to pick him up, along with Emmi, and they'd been going to get something to eat from the café in town.

 

_Emmi had dyed her hair a bright teal blue while she'd been away and Keith loved it. "Mom can I dye my hair? Maybe bright red?!" He heard a laugh from the passenger seat, his mother, "we'll see sweetheart, maybe if you do your chores," she turned around in her seat to wink at him. He groaned "I do my chores!" he argued, causing the woman to laugh again "at the last second, yes," she responded, Keith just huffed, though he was grinning. Then suddenly Emmi was screaming "DAD, WATCH OUT-"  he remembered hearing the sound of the cars colliding, he remembered the pain, after that it was dark._

 

He let out a choked sob, feeling his legs give out as he fell to the ground, body leaning over his legs, head in his hands, sobbing. He was shaking for so many reasons, because of the crying, because it was December and all he had on was a thin short sleeved t-shirt, jeans, and his boots, and above all else because he was scared. Of what, he didn't know. All that flashed through his head was his family, what he'd lost. His mother with her dark hair and dark almost purple eyes, Keith looked so much like her, although now he looked so much angrier than she ever had. His father with his dark brown hair and blue-green eyes, Emmi had always looked like him but with their mothers hair.

 

He was 20 years old, a grown man (He hated thinking about his age, he hated thinking that he'd outlived his big sister), yet here he was bawling like a baby, memories coursing through his head. The day Emmi had left for college.

 

_Keith didn't want to let go of his sister, didn't want her to leave. It would be weird, without her and her relentless teasing, loud music, and dancing around the house. She smiled, gently pushing the 13 year old away. "I gotta go now Keithy, I promise I'll be back in just a few months for Thanksgiving," she promised with a smile, reaching out to ruffle his hair. She gave her mother and father one last hug before turning around to catch her plane. Keith remembered standing there watching until she'd disappeared into the crowd._

 

When he'd broken his arm in the 3rd grade.

 

_"I bet you can't climb that tree!" A friend of his, Marco, challenged, pointing to a tree in the park. "I bet I can!" he responded, running over to the tree, Marco following close behind. Keith quickly started to climb, not paying to much attention to what branches he grabbed or used as footholds, eager to prove his friend wrong. "Keith, what are you doing?" his father. "I'm climbing a-" before he could finish the branch he was standing on gave out and he was falling. He remembered his father carrying him to the car and that he'd gotten a red cast. He remembered his mother scolding both him and Marco, and his sister laughing at him._

 

The time him and Emmi had started a full blown food fight at the table.  _  
_

 

_Keith scowled as he felt a pea his his face. He threw one back at Emmi, who smirked. "Kids don't throw your food at each other," Their father said with a sigh, shaking his head. Neither child listened and soon it turned all out, even their mom and dad joining in. Forts were made, the fridge and cabinets were raided, clothes, furniture, and walls were ruined. It had taken weeks to get the house entirely clean and replace any totaled furniture and clothes. But it had been worth it._

 

With that thought, Keith stood again. He still shook violently, the wind that had started up didn't help any. His hair blowing around his face. He began to step towards the edge, if the fall didn't kill him, and he didn't drown, he'd surely die of hypothermia. In the water in this cold, there was no chance he'd live. He was a few steps from the edge when he heard noise behind him, then a voice "DUDE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GET AWAY FROM THERE!" Keith turned like a deer in the headlights.

 

He saw a male running towards him, tanned skin and dark brown hair, it was messy and flying around in all directions, made worse by the fact he was running. He had probably some of the bluest eyes Keith had ever seen, they were widened in panic. He was beautiful. Keith tore his eyes as soon as he had the thought, turning back around. He barely got one more step forward before there were arms around him, pulling away from the edge.

 

No. No he needed to see his family again, he couldn't let blue eyes stop him. He struggled fiercely, but blue eyes had a strong grip, even if his struggling cause them both to fall. "Let go of me!" Keith cringed at how weak he sounded, his voice cracked and was gravelly from not being used. "No! I'm not gonna let you jump off a fucking cliff!" blue eyes argued. Struggling to get the both of them upright again, when he finally succeeded he let go of Keith's waist only to grab his arm. 

 

"I don't know where the hell you live and its 3:30 in the morning, so you're crashing at my place," blue eyes said, dragging him along. Keith struggled at first, but eventually gave in, shivering from the cold, though hot tears still went down his face. He'd been  _so_ close. But blue eyes had ruined everything. Keith didn't care how pretty he was, he resented him for forcing him to stay alive.

 

This boy knew nothing about him, what right did he have to force him to stick around? Him, the boy with no family and nowhere he really considered home. Him who could barely afford his shitty little apartment. Him who couldn't even afford to eat everyday. Him who only got to college with an athletic scholarship. Him, whom no one knew or cared about and wouldn't notice that he was gone tomorrow. Wouldn't notice until his body was found and it was in the news. Wouldn't care because they never knew him.

 

Before he knew it they were back at blue eyes apartment and he was being forced to sit on a worn green couch. Keith was still shaking though he'd stopped crying long ago, mostly because of how cold he was. He'd been outside for so long the cold was seeped into his bones. He stared blankly at the wall, he heard blue eyes speaking, but he didn't know what he was saying. Everything felt so distant, so far away. He was pulled from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at blue eyes, who gave him a small smile.

 

"I said, do you want a couple blankets? You're shaking like a leaf." Keith shrugged and mumbled a sure, looking back to the wall. Once again becoming lost in his own thoughts. He tried to ignore the aching in his chest, in his bones. He absentmindedly pulled the knife from his belt, twirling it in his hands. It had been his mothers, it had been one of the few things he'd been able to grab when he'd run. He laughed bitterly, she would be so disappointed if she knew he used it to hurt himself, distract himself from the pain of their deaths. 

 

He quickly put it away when he heard blue eyes come back in, he didn't want to say anything about it. Or anything at all really. He nodded a thanks when he felt blankets get draped over his shoulders. "I'm Lance, by the way." Keith nodded, so blue eye's name was Lance. He realized he was being stared at expectantly and bit back a sigh, "Keith." He once again cringed at how weak his voice sounded. 

 

"Well Keith, you can stay in my room for the night. I'll take the couch," the way he said it reminded him so much of his mothers no argument voice it took everything he had to not start crying. He let Lance lead him into his bedroom and muttered a thanks as the door closed (After Lance had taken anything and everything Keith could try to kill himself with, accept for the blankets cause that would have been cruel.) 

 

Almost the moment the door closed Keith broke, collapsing on the bed and curling into a ball sobbing like a crazy man. After an hour or so he finally calmed down, hoping Lance wouldn't notice the splotches of blood on his sheets.

 

 

The next morning Keith awoke extremely confused. This wasn't his bed, his bed didn't smell of vanilla and spices. His bed wasn't so comfortable and his blankets weren't so soft and warm. When he moved and saw the splotches of red on his arms and in a couple places on the sheets, and suddenly he remembered the events of the previous night, and he sighed.

 

He stood and stepped out of the room, glad that he found the bathroom as quickly as he did. He washed the blood off his arms as quickly as he could, he didn't want this guy, Lance, questioning. "Who in the hell are you?" Keith froze, turning around slowly. There was someone standing in the doorway, they had brown hair, light brown eyes and glasses. They were scowling at Keith, who tried to back away only to trip over the bathtub and fall over. 

 

Before anymore words could be exchanged Lance was in the hallway behind the extremely short person in the doorway. He looked at Keith in the bathtub and then down at the person in front of him. "Keith, Pidge. Pidge, Keith," he said, walking off. From the look on his face, he was presumably going back to sleep. Keith stood up quickly, pushing past Pidge who just seemed confused. "I'm going crazy," he managed to hear them mutter before the bathroom door closed. 

 

Keith began to make his way towards the front door, he'd already overstayed his welcome. Hell, he'd overstayed his welcome the moment he stepped inside the apartment. "Where're you going?" he heard Lance question from the couch. Keith had been wrong, he hadn't gone back to sleep, only turned on the television to watch a show. "Home," Keith answered. He hated the idea of leaving, the heat in his apartment was broken, and it was the middle of December.

 

"There's snow everywhere," Lance said. Keith only shrugged, "I'll manage," he muttered. He heard the sound of him getting up, "wait up i'll walk you there," he said, wandering out of the room and coming back a few seconds later. He tossed one at Keith, "put that on, you're gonna freeze," the darker haired boy scowled at him but begrudgingly put on the coat. He walked out of the apartment and out of the building, Lance waling beside him.

 

The jacket smelled the same as the bed, vanilla and spices, something in the back of Keith's mind noted. It didn't take long for them to get to Keith's apartment building. Lance insisted on walking with him to the apartment, and Keith muttered something under his breath with a roll of his eyes. "Why's it so cold in here?" Lance muttered, shivering more than he had been outside. Keith shrugged as if he wasn't also shaking "Heat's broken," he answered. Lance turned to stare at him, "That's it no, you're gonna keep staying at my place until the heat in this shit-hole is fixed, you'll fucking freeze." Keith only shrugged again, but Lance shot him a look. "Keith whatever-your-fucking-middle-name is whatever-your-fucking-last-name-is, you're staying at my place now get your shit and lets get going it's fucking cold."

 

Keith opened his mouth to argue sighed and disappeared into his apartment. He grabbed a somewhat large backpack and proceeded to shove things in it. Clothes, shampoo, conditioner, laptop, chargers, soap, etc, etc. He grabbed a couple pictures of his family as well, the few he had anyway. He frowned when he realized he'd packed pretty much every personal item he owned other than a few cups. He never realized how little he really owned until now. 

 

He shrugged it off and left the apartment, rolling his eyes at Lance who was shifting from foot to foot in a failing attempt to stay warm. "Finally," he muttered, the walk back was relatively silent other than Lance occasionally making a stupid comment.

 

 

Over the next few days Keith learned a lot. Lance had 2 roommates. There was Pidge, who was a tech genius and Keith saw Lance take away Pidge's computer several times so they'd eat, sleep, bathe or some other basic human need. He also discovered Pidge was very observant when he caught their gaze on his arms multiple times. The other was Hunk, he was extremely nice and was one of those people you just couldn't hate. He was the food genius, and Keith believed that instantly during his first meal in the strange apartment. Also that they were friends with neighbors on either side, on the right was Shiro and Allura who were a couple. Allura scared him a little, and Shiro reminded him a little of his father with the way he spoke when someone did something stupid and it hurt. On the left was a man named Coran, who was like the kooky uncle. He was odd, but funny, and Keith liked him. 

 

As the days went on Keith spoke more often, they'd asked about family a couple times but had discovered quickly that Keith didn't particularly want to share. Lance had insisted Keith continue to take his bed, he'd argued a few times but every time they started Pidge would come into the room just to throw something a them to shut the two of them up. 

 

It was reaching the one month mark, and Keith had decided he would leave the next morning. It wasn't as if he disliked the place or the people, even Christmas had been sorta nice, which hadn't happened since he was 13. He'd let it slip at some point that he used to play guitar and Lance got him a  _fucking guitar._ He'd received money from Pidge (what everyone got from them apparently) and some kind of extremely delicious fudge from Hunk. 

 

He'd given gifts too, it was the least he could do even if he could barely afford them. He'd gotten Pidge some computer thing that they'd been extremely excited about, but he still didn't understand even after all the googling he did. To many big words he didn't get. Lance had gotten colored pencils, Keith had seen the random art things around his room, and Hunk got a fancy cookbook that he got over the top excited about.

 

New Years had been hilarious, Lance had fallen asleep before the ball dropped and Keith and Pidge had drawn all over him while Hunk didn't participate, but didn't stop them either.

 

They'd become his friends, but this wasn't his apartment, wasn't his life, and he had no right to continue to intrude on their daily lives. He'd definitely overstayed his welcome. He'd leave the next morning, he ended the debate in his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

 

He didn't realize he'd woken up, he didn't realize he'd shouted, didn't realize salty tears were running down his face. He didn't realize any of this until there were warm arms around him, hands stroking his hair and back, trying to calm him down.  Lance. It was Lance. Keith buried his face in his shoulder, unable to stop the sobs that escaped. Couldn't stop shaking no matter what he did. 

 

It took 30 minutes, but Keith finally calmed down. Finally stopped crying, stopped shaking. It was then he was reminded of the fact neither of them currently wore a shirt despite the colder weather, damn sleeping habits. He moved away from Lance, extremely embarrassed. It didn't help that he'd started to feel  _something_ for Lance. He'd just had a break down in his crush's arms. No...it was more than a crush at this point. His cheeks burned at the thought, and he was glad for the dark room. "I'm sorry," Keith mumbled, refusing to look at Lance. 

 

Lance shrugged "It's alright, I don't mind," he answered, watching him closely. Keith suddenly stood up, pulling his shoes on. He grabbed his backpack and new guitar case. Lance furrowed his brow and grabbed Keith's arm without even thinking "Where are you going?" he questioned. "I've been here a month, I...I've overstayed my welcome," he answered. Lance shook his head and gently pulled him to sit on the bed, taking a good 15 minutes to get him to put his things down and take his shoes off.

 

"Listen to me Keith, you've not overstayed your welcome at all. You're welcome here for forever, as far as I'm concerned. The same goes for Hunk and Pidge too, hell move in for all I care. Your apartment is shit, no offense." Keith actually chuckled at that, "I'm not gonna move it, I'd feel bad making you sleep on the couch forever." 

 

After that they sat in a comfortable silence, Lance having wrapped several blankets around himself. He was also the first to break the silence, "Will you play me something?" he questioned, nodding his head towards the guitar. "I've never heard you really play, I've heard you practicing a few times, but it was always quiet with walls and doors in the way." 

 

Keith stared at him for a seconds before nodding slowly "um, sure," he mumbled, reaching over and opening the case. He pulled the guitar out, getting back into a comfortable position on the bed. It was slightly cold against his bare torso. He began to play after a couple minutes of silence, hesitation. 

 

_"What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be_

_If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark_

_A dumb screenshot of youth_

_Watch how a cold broken teen_

_Will desperately lean on a super-glued human of proof"_

 

Lance stared at him, mesmerized. He'd thought Keith was beautiful since he'd gone on that walk and seen him standing on the edge of that cliff. But now, with only the dim light from the hallway making is possible to see him, he was as beautiful as ever. Calm and focused, determined even.

 

_"What the hell would I be, without you_

_Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth"_

 

Lance found himself scooting closer so their knees touched, Keith hardly seemed to notice.

 

_"Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin_

_I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me_

_So how do we win?_

_Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates, won't be alone again_

_I can finally see you're as fucked up as me_

_So how do we win?"_

 

Lance couldn't get over the raw emotion in his voice. He'd wanted to ask what had been in Keith's nightmare that had made him cry as hard as the night they had met, but he'd held back. Still, he couldn't help but wonder.

 

_"We will grow old as friends, I've promised that before_

_So what's one more?_

_In our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end_

_Time and hearts will wear us thin_

_So which path will you take, cause we both know a break_

_Does exactly what it says on the tin"_

 

Lance felt himself leaning forward, ever so slightly. He didn't stop himself. 

 

_"What the hell would I be, without you_

_Brave face talks so lightly, hide the truth"_

 

He leaned in a bit more, Keith's eyes flicked up at the sudden closeness and quickly back down, but he didn't move away 

 

 

_"Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin_

_I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me_

_So how do we win?_

_Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates, won't be alone again_

_I can finally see you're as fucked up as me_

_So how do we win?"_

 

Lance lifted Keith's chin, so they were looking each other in the eye. Lance didn't realize how close they'd gotten until now, lips centimeters apart. Then suddenly there was no space between them at all, the kiss was sloppy and it was obvious neither of them knew what they were doing, but still it was perfect. Keith pulled away for air first, breathing heavily. 

 

Keith felt the heat on his face, he stood to put his guitar away, hoping the blush would die down as he did so. He had no such luck, upon glancing over at Lance he saw the faintest hint of a blush on his face in the dim lighting. Keith sat back down in his original spot, hair falling in his face.

 

"What was your dream about?" Lance suddenly blurted out. Any moment that had been there was gone, and Keith tensed. "my family," he answered quietly. Lance said nothing, hoping for a bit more of an explanation, but he wouldn't push. He heard Keith exhale before he continued speaking. "When I was 14, the last day of school before Christmas break, my parents picked me up after the school day ended because my sister, Emmi, had come home from college, and we were all gonna go to the cafe that was down the street," he paused, hesitated, then continued.

 

"Sometime in between then and Thanksgiving she's gotten her hair dyed this bright teal blue and I remember thinking it was the coolest thing. I remember begging my mom to let me dye mine red, we had a little mini half argument, one of those that's not a real argument it's all good natured. I-" he swallowed thickly, he'd gotten this far, he could keep going. He would. He had to. He owed Lance this much, owed him enough to let him know why he'd been screaming in the middle of the night.  

 

"I remember I had slumped down in my seat, and Emmi was laughing. Then she was screaming...screaming for my dad to watch out. I remember hearing the cars collide....I remember hearing Emmi scream again. My mom and dad too, I remember pain. Then it's...it's all dark. I was the only one who got out alive," he winced as his voice cracked and tears threatened to spill over once again. 

 

He was weak, weak and pathetic. 20 years old, crying 2 times in the same hour. He felt Lance wrap him in another hug, and he hugged back, gripping onto his shirt, his face was once again hidden in his shoulder. This time it was less crying, and moreso he just really needed a hug. He was so touch-starved he didn't even realize it until he was shown any kind of affection, and he just didn't want to let go. 

 

Eventually however, he did let go, and somehow after that they were kissing again. Lance's hands tangled themselves in Keith's hair, Keith's arm going around Lance's neck and holding onto his shirt for the third time. They pulled away what felt like far to soon, foreheads resting against each other. Keith let out a small yawn and suddenly Lance was getting up, "You should try and get some more sleep," he mumbled. Keith grabbed his arm, the same way Lance had done to him many times. 

 

"Stay. It's cold cause you moved all the blankets," he mumbled. Lance rolled his eyes, but laid back down beside him, grabbing a couple of the blankets he'd moved, resting his chin on Keith's head. For the first time he noticed how nice he smelled, sandalwood and cinnamon. It didn't take long before he was out like a light, wrapped in warmth. 

 

Keith sighed in content, curling into Lance's chest. He liked this feeling, it felt like being somewhere close to alright was actually possible. His last thought before he drifted off was that he hoped his parents and Emmi were proud of him. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots. This was meant to be a short quick lil thing.....I got carried away. Just a smidgennnnnnnnn
> 
> The song Keith sings is Sick of Losing Soulmates by Dodie Clark
> 
> Sorry for whenever my writing started to get sloppy, I wrote this between the hours 10pm and 6:30am so, i got tired.


End file.
